is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
