I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
