I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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