I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
