so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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