Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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