you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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