So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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