It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
