he shaved USA in his pubs
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
the day after is always just damage control
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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