I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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