you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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