East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
