I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
