I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
