I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
