it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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