I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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