jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
you're hired as official boob wrangler
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I have tasted many bathrooms
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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