I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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