Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
