Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
