I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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