My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Randomize
