I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
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