well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
