I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
There's always time for handjobs
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
