Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
God, you're like boner-b-gone
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
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