I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
