I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
That accounts for only three of the penises
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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