You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
