Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
