After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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