I wannas sexs uuuuu
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I AM VODKA MAN
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
And then he peed in my hair
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