So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
