my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
