I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
