No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
