***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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