you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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