First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
