need another drink. this is the easiest way
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
