If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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