that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
i need to put some appletini on your dick
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
