We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
