I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
