she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
