Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
