hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
