So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
