Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
