so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize