I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
