You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
