It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
We have so much sex to catch up on
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
