I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
