Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
how does that bad decision feel?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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