Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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