3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
