1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
