He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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