so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
of course. lets lasso hookers.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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