yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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